if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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