his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
