I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
