I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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