Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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