Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
