Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
