He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
