I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
