Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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