just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
