do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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