the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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