never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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