just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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