im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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