Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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