Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
