I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
