How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
