I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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