I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm just crazy horny about you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
