Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
