Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
