i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
