I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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