went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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