Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
