If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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