where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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