i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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