This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
