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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
