She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
