The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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