i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
