i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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