I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
