That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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