Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
