in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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