can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
