Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
