FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i drank out of a bidet.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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