remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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