did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
