PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
