lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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