David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
