My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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