I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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