We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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