Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
