To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
