I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
